Chapter Seventeen: EXPLODING TIME, AND SWITCHING BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN BOOKS

By Gina Morrison

To write a good novel

you have to go forward

one scene after another
holding the reader's
attention by
building suspense and drama
and naturally, a good plot
oh and the book must
have action too

but sometimes you just
end up going

around in circles

or backwards 

doing a kind of
literary somersault

back back back back

or back and forth
in the case of this book,
or books, I keep
going back and forth

SWITCH!! ing
between this book, SWITCH!!
and the other books,
SISTER MYSTERIES and
CASTENATA,
please be patient with me,

GINA MORRISON,
NARRATOR AND AUTHOR,
because I haven't quite figured
out what exactly I am doing
juggling no less than three books,

WHAT I AM DOING
WRITE NOW NOW NOW NOW
IS

EXPLODING [ TIME ] LIKE
a bomb so everything ends up
POW POW POW POW WOW

NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW

Let me explain, first I had to go

far back in time as far back

                as 1883 when Sister Renata the nun is falsely accused of killing her cousin Antonie

I started writing about Renata in 1995 or was it 2010, it's both, it was just about the time that time started to unwind, I started meditating, my mind changed profoundly, some time ago, maybe 18 years ago which seems like a LONG TIME BUT NOT WHEN YOUR CHARACTER RENATA LIVED IN 1883 

You begin to see time in
You begin to see and feel INFINITY

So that now I see

INFINITY
WHEREVER I TURN WHENEVER I
SWITCH!! like I am
WRITE NOW NOW I finally see

what it means to

to free myself, to free the nun,
to do both at one time,
to find yourself myself, liberated,
to join the ranks of all the illuminated
or ascended souls

where the whole universe is

ONE GIGANTIC UNITY OF VOICES

I am myself unified as me,
as GINA, as the nun, Renata, and she is me

and she still stands falsely accused of killing her cousin Antonie
and I'm still trying to free myself of time, the ego, suffering
among other things.

I wake up this morning IN A NEW CHAPTER with my mouth as dry as cotton,
I've got to turn myself into authorities
I've got to turn myself 

INTO ONE VOICE THIS ONE
I, GINA, and me
slide

into

Renata.

I've got to turn myself in.

Last night, Señora

woke up in [CHAPTER 64 IN SISTER MYSTERIES] she was deep in a coma but she woke up
out of deep sleep and squeezed my hand and told me to take the missing pages of my journal

and tell the world show the authorities prove once and for all

that she? I? ME? WE are/is/am free and innocent

it wasn't me who killed

it wasn't Renata who finished off 

It was Señora and last night, she lay there in bed in 1883 and begged me to take the pages to show the

Was she really awake or did I/ME?Renata make that up or did she/we hallucinate
don't accuse me of that, don't you dare say
I am making up this whole
cloth, making this up out of
words alone.

ALL THE BOOKS I AM WRITING ARE NOT LIES I/WE/SHE ARE TRYING TO TELL THE TRUE TRUE STORY ONCE AND FOR ALL

The whole world is different now that I am Renata. The world is in my heart and my heart is beating to the

new rhythm of LOVE LOVE

This morning as Renata wakes up her mouth is cottony dry, as dry as her sheet on her straw mattress, [THAT IS CHAPTER 66] and I've got to figure out I am not sure where how to go next I know
she delivers

just give me a minute or

WHILE I TELL YOU ABOUT DOTTIE'S CAFE

where I happen to be, my laptop here right here write on the table

Mary my therapist said I need to live a little bit more spontaneously, don't rely so much on your mind so much she said live life as it comes, live by honoring your feelings rely on what you feel like know

So this morning after a doctor's appointment I felt hungry, I felt like coming back to

Dottie's cafe in Pittsfield, Massachusetts, where

so many chapters ago, so many novels ago I sat and wrote a different version of this other novel, Sister Mysteries,

in those days it was called plain and simply

SWITCH!!

IN CHAPTER TWO

of this book I sat on the orange sofa at Dottie's

and I wrote under the pseudo

name

of Gina Morrison instead of

me and Renata united in time

the actual time being 11:57 a.m. on April 10th 2013, but remember time is meaningless in the realm of the DIVINE WHICH IS AN INFINITELY LOVING SPACE WITH NO CLOCKS now that I know that

now that I FEEL THAT

TIME doesn't really exist, or if it does it overlaps and things happen and then things happen and then they happen again but when you are in one time frame you are in all the others too,

just like these blogs which jump all over

SWITCH!!-ing

constantly

NOW THAT I HAVE SEEN the light, glowing glowing the VIRGIN MARY RIGHT THERE IN THE LIGHT, now that I know my therapist Mary is right SHE SAYS TO BELIEVE IN THE HIGHER DEITIES SHE IS A JUNGIAN SHE IS AMAZING SHE SAYS it is wonderful that I believe in the Virgin Mary, she says that believing in the Virgin will help me take care of myself the Virgin Mary is just one of what she called THE ASCENDED HOSTS, an aspect of the Divine Feminine, she told me to invoke the Divine Feminine,

She also says that ANYTIME THERE ARE TWO OF SOMETHING

say, Renata and Antonie

or    Renata and Me

there is an opening, the two opens the possibility of some kind of synthesis, some kind of pairing, some kind of penning, a merging and then an emerging from that merging is

a unified voice the two yields the one, DENISE MY ENERGY HEALER SPEAKS CONSTANTLY OF THAT UNIFYING, THE COLLAPSING OF THE BINARY I HAVE WANTED TO BE THERE IN THE UNITY FOR YEARS AND

here now I am

the two into the ONE, which opens up the possibility of the DIVINE FORCES MANIFESTING THEMSELVES

that is what my therapist Mary said, she thinks THE WAY THERAPY WORKS IS THAT

IT IS A CONVERSATION BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE THE UNIVERSE IS ALL ONE WE ARE ALL OF US CONNECTED SHE THINKS SHE IS WIRED INTO MY HIGHER CONSCIOUSNESS MY DIVINE SELF MY BEING and she is SIMPLY reacting and reflecting back to me, mirroring my higher consciousness like a radio tower

Isn't that a completely divine thought? We all ought to operate on that assumption, that the DIVINE IS READILY AVAILABLE

EVERYWHERE at all times of the day or night not just on Sunday or Saturday or whatever your Sabbath (ShABAT) happens to be

the entire world and everything every single thing is somehow sacred, MARY SAYS THAT I AM DOING HOLY WORK THAT MY ATTEMPT TO HEAL IS HAVING AN IMPACT ON THE WORLD WOULDN'T IT BE NICE TO KNOW THAT OUR SUFFERING HELPS ANOTHER SOUL I WOULD BE SO GRATEFUL IF THAT WERE TO HAPPEN

MEANWHILE, I am just sitting in Dottie's Cafe in Pittsfield where I have come for a second breakfast, a biscuit with cheddar and egg and a latte

today being just an ordinary day

BUT NO, NOT WHEN YOU ARE THINKING VIA DIVINITY,

I am drinking a fairly delicious a typical latte but think of it this way behind beneath woven through and through into top and bottom and every which way every ordinary event of this day every day every thing we call reality

HAS A DIVINE LAYER THIS ENERGY THIS ULTIMATE SPHERE THIS INFINITE PLACE  where

MIRACLES HAPPEN EVERY DAY

here just look at that gorgeous little girl playing in the cafe the little girl blonde girl she waddles and wobbles she is two,

she belongs to the woman Jessica who owns Dottie's

Jessica amazingly recognized me when I walked in I have not been there in months or years but instantly when I walked into the cafe, Dottie's, the first words from her mouth were:

"We had to get rid of that orange striped couch, and I thought of you," 

I was so touched she

remembered that I used to come in to sit on the couch

It was a place I tried so valiantly to write

this book,

SWITCH!!

instead of that book,

Sister Mysteries

or the other one, Castenata

I sat on the orange striped couch where there are now two wing chairs

and here is one of them, right now, holding Dottie's owner, Jessica and her daughter

Jessica is pregnant with child number two

number two according to Jung's protege Louise Van Franck, according to my PhD therapist Mary says wherever there are two of something, there is an opening into the INFINITE, into the realm of miracles, and

if you want a miracle HEAR HEAR

BABIES R A MIRACLE SO ARE PREGNANT WOMEN AND PETUNIAS AND ORCHIDS AND EVERY KIND OF CACTUS AND PARROTS AND OCEANS AND STARS AND PALM TREES AND SUNSHINE

and so too is it miraculous

THE FACT YOU ACTUALLY CAN READ THESE WORDS THAT WE ARE COMMUNICATING RIGHT HERE WRITE NOW ME TO YOU

I guess I need to stop screwing around and go forward with one or the other or the other story:

I am sitting here at a table at Dottie's thinking, what will Renata, what will I do? How will she/I/me go free? How will I/her/me go free.

SIMPLE TURN YOURSELF IN

into infinity, TURN THE

SWITCH!! Let Mary HELP YOU

PLEASE MARY HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME

What shall I do?

I must go forward, but for now I just sip the latte. I use my phone to take a photo of the cup and my laptop sitting side by side. AND

I DECIDE TO KEEP TYPING JUST THE WAY I AM BREATHING, AUTOMATICALLY
Sooner or later something will add up to something will work out, perhaps even a bookkkkkkk or three

BOOKS BUT THEY ARE NOT BOOKs YOU CAN PICK UP OR EVER PUT DOWN

"Don't ever put yourself or your writing down." Instead, write the books on a set of blogs. What fun!